The decision to become a surrogate mother is momentous. You’re giving another couple one of the most beautiful gifts — a healthy baby — while caring for and raising a family of your own.
Balancing your family and gestational surrogacy is no easy feat. The next nine months will require patience, self-awareness and lots of love from your support system, but ultimately, you’ll find that the effects of surrogacy on you and your family are incredibly positive and rewarding.
Follow these four tips on how to balance your surrogacy and your family.
1. Prioritize Self-Care
While you’ve experienced a successful pregnancy and delivery before, every pregnancy is different. Your physical symptoms may be the same or slightly different. It’s important to take care of yourself, take it slow and know your limits. Remember the self-care routines that helped you before, and use them to pamper yourself as a surrogate mother.
2. Talk to Your Kids About Your Pregnancy
Starting the conversation with your children can feel like the hardest part, but kids of all ages are usually receptive to the idea of helping someone else have a baby to love. Some mothers find that involving their children in the surrogacy process, like including them during updates with the intended parents, is one of the most rewarding parts of the entire experience.
3. Schedule Time With Your Partner and Your Kids
Pregnancy is a 24/7 physical and emotional experience, and days can easily slip away from you. To help balance your time and make sure you’re seeing the people you love enough, carve out an afternoon or evening to spend quality time with your kids and your partner (separately or together!).
Plan activities your child loves, like going to a museum or watching a favorite movie, and remind them how important they are to you. Then, schedule a babysitter for a no-kids-allowed date night with your partner. In the midst of surrogacy, pausing to spend time with loved ones is a good way to strike a healthy balance and maintain your peace of mind and well-being.
4. Ask for Help and Support
Don’t be afraid to take a step back and reach out to your support team — your partner and family as well as your OB-GYN and surrogacy agency. Call on a trusted babysitter or friend when you need time to yourself, and don’t feel guilty! You deserve it.
Ask your surrogacy agency and doctor for guidance throughout the process. The more people you have in your corner, the better you’ll be able to balance your time and attention.
Become a Surrogate at Western Fertility Institute
As a surrogate mother, you have the privilege of helping another family fulfill a dream. That said, we recognize that the beautiful path of gestational surrogacy can be full of many questions. The good news is that you don’t have to do it alone. To learn more about getting involved in our surrogate program, contact the Western Fertility Institute today!
This content was medically reviewed by the Western Fertility Institute medical team on August 12, 2019.