If you and your significant other are struggling with infertility, choosing surrogacy could be an option that allows you to have a biological child. At Western Fertility Institute, we often match couples with women who can serve as their surrogate mother. That said, you may choose to turn to a close friend to help you instead.
If you’ve thought about approaching a friend or someone you know has offered to become your surrogate, it’s important that you weigh the pros and cons of this decision. Surrogacy is not a situation that should be attempted lightly.
Going through the surrogacy process can be difficult. When you add a long-established relationship to the mix, things are bound to get complicated. The surrogacy journey will change your friendship no matter what, so before proceeding, give the decision the forethought it deserves.
One of the benefits of choosing a friend to become your surrogate is that there’s already an established sense of trust and love between you, which can make the surrogacy journey less stressful. It can also be a source of joy as your friend provides you with the lifelong gift of parenthood.
However, emotions can never be predicted. You may find yourself harboring feelings of resentment or jealousy that your friend is the one who’s actually pregnant with your child. It’s crucial that you’re both prepared. Address potential issues ahead of time. When emotions become heightened, try to realize that many of these feelings are born from stress and your overwhelming desire to become a parent.
If your friend has chosen to become your surrogate, they’re probably doing it out of their love for you and their desire to see you have a child. Carrying someone else’s child isn’t an easy task, so it’s essential that your friend feels loved and appreciated for making this sacrifice, or your relationship could be at stake.
Financial and Legal Impact
One of the reasons some parents choose a friend as a surrogate is that it decreases overall surrogacy costs, especially if your friend has agreed to become your surrogate altruistically, allowing you to pay little or nothing. Even if that’s the case, compensation, even if it’s minimal, will allow your friend to feel valued for their time as your surrogate. They may feel uncomfortable accepting money from you, but you should work together to come up with a compensation amount that you’re both happy with.
If discussing legal and financial concerns makes you and your friend uncomfortable, allow your attorneys to address these issues. Both you and your surrogate should obtain legal representation. Your attorneys can draw up a contract addressing matters like compensation, medical costs and other potential problems that could arise during the surrogacy process. Allowing your attorneys to work on both of your behalfs will relieve any discomfort there could be about discussing money directly with your friend.
Surrogacy is an amazing bond that you and your friend can share forever. However, a lot of logistics must be worked out before, during and after the birth of your child. One way to ensure the surrogacy process proceeds seamlessly is to work with an agency like Western Fertility Institute. As experts in the field, we understand the complexities of surrogacy and can be there for you and your intended surrogate mother.
Some of the services we provide include:
- Screening your friend to ensure that she’s emotionally and physically prepared for surrogacy
- Working with hospitals, doctors and insurance companies to arrange all needed medical care
- Coordinating with attorneys to ensure all legal aspects are addressed
- Addressing the emotional impacts of surrogacy that may arise
- Acting as a go-between for you and your intended surrogate mother if needed
Whether you have a friend you want to serve as your surrogate or need help finding a qualified candidate, we want to be there for you. Contact us today to learn more about our surrogacy services.