When you decide on the journey to have children, you will find that many things change, especially if you are dealing with infertility. Your relationship with your body, the way you think about your future and your finances and even your emotions will be affected. If you are in a romantic relationship, you may find your life with your partner is impacted, too.
The Role Infertility Can Play in a Relationship
Infertility patients sometimes report that the stress caused by infertility can result in pressure within a relationship. Couples may experience:
- Emotional upheavals: Individuals may feel hurt, upset and even angry, among other emotions. Each individual may be going through an emotional rollercoaster, and this can place added strain on a relationship.
- Differences of opinion: As a couple, you’re part of a team. But you may have different ideas about how to handle infertility. One person may want to share the struggle with others, while the other may want to keep things confidential. One partner may want to adopt while another wishes to try infertility treatment. A couple may even argue about when to seek help from a doctor. Trying to decide what to do about infertility can lead to some tough conversations and even disagreements.
- Blame: Some partners may blame one another for infertility, especially in cases where a low sperm count or another specific cause is named as the reason for the problems.
- Fear: Some individuals fear their partner will leave them if they are unable to have children or if they have a condition which makes conceiving difficult.
- Changes in intimacy: Physical intimacy when trying to conceive can come with lots of pressure, especially if a couple is feeling the strain of infertility. This can make the bedroom tense rather than fun. In turn, lack of intimacy or changes in the bedroom can impact the relationship as a whole.
How to Deal With Infertility-Related Stress
Knowing the possible impact of infertility-related stress on your relationship is the first step. If you’re already feeling the strain, there are a few things you can do:
- Keep talking: Keep lines of communication open, especially when you disagree. Create rules around your communication so there is no name-calling or blaming or shouting. Make an effort to talk about how you feel.
- Play on the same team: Tackle infertility the same way you handle any challenge in your relationship. Decide in advance how you will handle questions from family and friends about your plans for a family and present a united front. Keep reminding each other you’re in this together and keep your eye on the goal. You want a happy family together, so start planning what you need to do now to make that a reality.
- Remember to be a couple: Infertility can take up so much space and time in your daily lives that the relationship itself falls by the wayside. Remember to go on dates, laugh and have fun. Consider banning talk about the infertility issue during specific times or days so you can nurture the rest of your relationship.
- Talk to a professional: If things get tense at home, consider couples’ counseling. A therapist or counselor can help you get a fresh perspective and can provide you with tools to communicate better at home.
If you need help to start tackling infertility, contact Western Fertility Institute and schedule an initial consultation. Our “one stop” service approach ensures that we are with you on every step of your journey and that our team works tirelessly to help you get the results you want.
This content was medically reviewed by the Western Fertility Institute medical team on November 14, 2019.