Building a strong relationship as a surrogate mother with the baby’s intended parents is one thing — doing it when they live on a different part of the globe is another. It’s completely reasonable to want to get to know the family of the baby you’re carrying, but you may not have the option to travel. Luckily, thanks to the internet and social media, having a relationship with international intended parents is possible. Here are some options.
Video Chats
Never underestimate the power of video chat. Phone calls are great too, but if you want to have a face-to-face conversation, video chat is the most useful solution. It’s one of the best ways to get to know the intended parents during the surrogacy process without meeting them in person.
If it’s convenient for everyone, you can set up regular video calls to keep your surrogate baby’s parents up-to-date on new developments and challenges. Doing so is a great way to maintain a long-distance relationship with the parents and enjoy the chance to get to know them personally.
Internet Translators
If the intended parents live internationally, they might not speak the same language as you. If you have enough knowledge of one another’s language to communicate, that’s great! If not, you’ll need to find another way to cross the language barrier — which is where internet translators come in.
Translating tools like Google Translate and others aren’t perfect, but they can still be useful when you need to communicate with someone in another language. If an online translator isn’t sufficient, however, you may also be able to get a real-life translator to help you talk to one another over video calls.
Working With the Intended Parents’ Schedules
Everyone has different schedules, and if your intended parents are international, they may even operate in a different time zone. It’s important to make compromises so that you can get your phone call or video chat to fit into everyone’s day. To help, consider setting up a schedule for online meetings early on in your relationship. That way, you can find a time during the week that works for both you and the parents and stick to it as part of your routine.
Frequent Communication
The emotional challenges can be hard enough for parents in surrogate programs who have no control over the situation or environment their baby is in. As you can probably imagine, this situation is even more difficult for parents who live hundreds or thousands of miles away and may not be able to meet you in person.
You don’t need to be in constant contact, but it’s important to keep the parents updated and make an effort to communicate regularly. Your relationship will likely be better off for it, and the parents will probably appreciate your cooperation and consideration even more.
Communicating with intended parents internationally presents extra challenges that may come up between people who live closer together. However, using these tips can help you form a lasting bond with them during your surrogacy journey. Contact Western Fertility Institute if you have any questions about the surrogacy process.
This content was medically reviewed by the Western Fertility Institute medical team on July 29, 2019.