With the holiday season approaching, this may be an especially painful time if you’ve been struggling with infertility. After all, these celebrations center around family and tradition. Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hannukkah, chances are you’ve been bombarded with images of parents with their kids in the media and your own family. Seeing siblings or cousins with their little ones can be a painful reminder of the children you long for. All this can have a huge emotional toll and may cause undue stress.
If you’re fretting about how to deal with infertility during the holiday season, here are some things to keep in mind that may help.
Don’t Ignore Your Feelings
Holidays with family and friends bring out the best in us, but they also can elicit strong emotions, especially when you see others who don’t struggle with infertility reveling in the love of their children. It’s okay to feel sad, depressed or even deprived. Infertility is a major life crisis that many won’t understand, but you are entitled to your feelings.
It may mean you have to step outside or hide in the bathroom for a few minutes to compose yourself if you find yourself overcome by emotion, and that’s okay. Seek safe people to share how you feel with, whether it’s close friends, your mother or your spouse. They can help you through the rough times.
Avoid The Places That Are Too Hard
To make the holidays as joyful as possible despite your circumstances, it may mean you need to avoid certain situations. It could be a religious service featuring children or even the mall Santa.
Instead, find traditions and places that won’t cause you pain, even if it means skipping events or gatherings with your family. It’s important to look after your emotional health, and if these traditions are too painful, you can’t be forced to go. Your family may be upset initially, but they will eventually understand. Alternative holiday plans could include a dinner with your adult friends or even a short getaway with your partner.
The important thing about celebrating this time of year is to capture the spirit of the holiday. This means participating in activities that bring you joy and meaning. Do things that will make you and your partner happy. In the long run, you’ll feel calmer and more peaceful.
Be Ready to Answer (Or Not Answer) Difficult Questions
One of the most painful questions that those struggling with infertility get asked is “When are you going to have kids?” In fairness, those who ask this don’t know that you’ve been having issues conceiving, but that doesn’t make it any less hurtful. That’s why you should prepare an answer to this question ahead of time.
Even when your family does know you have fertility issues, they may try to offer unwanted and unhelpful advice. It’s okay to shut these conversations down, even if they think they’re providing useful fertility tips. Don’t feel guilty. You can ask them politely to change the subject, or you can walk away if they continue. Don’t feel like you have to make polite conversation if it’s causing you pain.
Find Support From Those Who Understand
Sharing is important. As we mentioned earlier, it’s not healthy to hide and ignore your feelings. Many couples struggle with infertility, and you can join a support group or get together with other couples who understand what you’re going through.
At Western Fertility Institute, we realize how painful it is when you’re coping with infertility, especially during the holiday season. We want to work with you to find a solution to your fertility issues so that you can have a child to share this joyous time of year with. Contact us today to find out more.